just for laughs.

a random funny incident that i forgot to blog about.

THE STAR: JUNAINI JOHARI
THE SETTING: AT THE LEVEL 2 SANDWICH MACHINE AT SCI

normal people would perceive combination of A + B to be sandwich 1 + sandwich 2
BUT. people like Jun think that:
combination of A + B= filling of sandwich 1= filling A + B
and sandwich 2= filling A + B
haha. she basically thought that there will be half mushroom and half chicken chunky omelette inside one sandwich. how wishful.

hehe. invent it, sweetheart. then fillings will jumping from bread to another inside the vending machine hehehhe.
hehe.

with love to jun, raw racoon

how disheartening.

no one tagged!
no one read!
so sad.

poor little jal, talking to herself
:()(

well,i will go on talking to myself then!

i am STRESSED. but i refuse to dwell on that. but i cannot believe that exams are so friggin near.
this is horrible.

ok, i just made a fool outta myself in 108. do not ask.

yesterday was not a very good day. i need to see the doctor. but i haven't. because i was fasting, and i wanted to go after breaking fast. but guess where i was stuck? MacLab. yes yes, the synonym of North Pole.

and it didnt help my cough.

i dont feel like i am in a state to study..

i feel so awful that i am so addicted to the Net. and i dun noe how to cure this addiction. and i am not talking about blogging. i am talking about MSN, about singaporeindians.com.

i feel so attached to my laptop.

i am going to start copying notes. BUT i hate reading untidy writing. damn, why do they have wireless in NTU?

one year back, while all my friends were still chatting on msn while studying for As, i didn't even go on it. AT ALL.
where the hell is my concentration!?

i really should thank my sisters for "banning" me from the Net. see what it is doing to me.
i feel so willpower-less.
i need someone to study with me. i miss studying with zhiwei. like a lot a lot.

i am planning study till late at SCI, provided i have a study khaki. anyone wana study with me?

:(

beneath all that laughter and smiles lies a stressed girl.

oh and chong jin asked if i could make the rest of the class as happy. haha. if only. we would have world peace if i had such power. :)

exhausting sunday.

after almost two days of celibacy, i am back.

i didnt get to see rayn today :(

all cos of the darned 108 term paper. but yes yes, it is my fault cos i left it to the last min. actually no, i finished 49 minutes ahead of time. ahaha.

well well.
yesterday went by in a blur.

in the morning, i went to MacLab with my 108 group to edit the video. we all went later than 9 am, our original meeting time. only to find it locked.

we only managed to enter at 11 am. damn.

well anyway, it was a tiring day, cos my dad asked to buy lunch(which ruined my plans)
and i had to buy lunch cos my maid wanted to go out SUDDENLY. *bang bang*

then i went to my sisters house to see my darling only for a while. then i rushed off to aishah's house. for hari raya. hm, it was a bit boring at first i guess.

at the end of the day, there were ahem. many ppl there. who were, to say the least, pleasing to the eye.

well then, i gave poh, wan ying and justin a surprise by turning up at JP swensens. had fish and chips there. and then heavenly cookies and cream ice cream cake, thanks to justin.

well. talking about food, i have been absolutely gorging myself.
oh well jal, what's new? :P

i spent the WHOLE of today doing the damn paper.
well, no one said 12 pages in 1 day was easy.
oh, but i did take a break and watch ms vasantham, the beauty pageant.
well i felt how i usually feel when i see all these amazing looking women who have amazing complexions and wonderful bodies.
like shit.
and some people remind me in school to feel this way. everyday. not a very nice feeling if u experience it.
and it is definitely not funny, unless u have a real bad sense of humour.

i dont get affected anymore. but still. it is not funny, right? if not more than 1 person is laughing, it cannot qualify as funny.

well anyway, the winner is gorgeous man! :))

thats her!

well anyway, then after that ya. finished and stuff, and felt like blogging and so here i am. and that is all. i will upload many many more pics. when i have the mood. au revoir. ;)

strength.

i need lots of it.
stress.
which i put on myself.
by doing a TERM paper in ONE DAY.
argh.
i have 7 friggin pages to go.
rot jal rot.

unbelievable.

you know what?
i think rayn is influencing me.
i slept like a BABY.

this is how.
with my laptop HELD in my left hand.
with my contact lens on(for four hours!)
the videocam on my right.

they were all in place when i got up, including the laptop.
which effectively means i did not move an inch while i was sleeping.
i did not wash my face. or brush my teeth.
la la land must have been very tempting.
but i feel duly refreshed.
i am going back to sleep now.
i got up to pray.
i have no idea how, but my saturday just became a long day!


i forgot that i have a hari raya visit to pay to my friend's house.
and. then. i am going to JP swensens.
to meet my JC CLASSMATES.
it is poh hwee's and wan ying's birthday on oct 30. (and it is SOMEONE's birthday one month later!)

those of you who know, will know.
a little fear. a little excitement. a little determination.

i started on my 108 paper!congrats to myself!
it doesnt look like it is going to be tough. but i am gonna be needing lots and lots of coffee tonight.

aight. the bed is calling me.
hope you are sleeping well darling rayn.

what is love?

love is not only an emotional state involving passion intimacy and commitment.

it is unconditional.

when you love, do not expect any returns.

love is not confined.

if you love your friend, do not expect a favour to be returned. you may remember it, but it shall not be mentioned under any circumstance.

if you love your dad, do not brush away his attempts at conversation.

if you love your mum, do not retaliate to nagging. she loves you.

and above all, if you love yourself, pamper yourself by allowing yourself to love unconditionally.

belated.

first of all, i want to say a belated thank you to kai yan.
i dunno if i thanked her in some other entry, but i so dun wana check.
wana thank her for returning my books to NIE on the day i wore my killer shoes. it was extremely extremely sweet. that was just last wednesday.

but it seems ages ago.

cos it feels like so many things have changed since then.
so many many things. in so many many ways.
some you know, and some you don't ;)

well. anyway. to give the setting, i am in IS Lab 2. in school.(for those of u in CS and dunno where this is, it is time to explore)

and there are some WEIRDOS who are studying while normal ppl like me use their precious time to do very very urgent things like blogging. no?

oh. and one more belated news.
on wednesday, my relatives came over. the usual clan.
but i dunno, i actually had fun.
you know, the relationship my sisters and i used to have with our relatives was: the doting relatives and the quiet, sweet, demure, filial girls.

but i think i broke some customs by totally being myself. i was extra sarcastic. and i talked shit.

no. but the thing is. i actually talked to them.

din hide in the room in the pretext of studying and come out only, coincidentally, in time to collect the money. ha ha.

well, it was actually quite fun. it is funny, how they fussed about me like a star when i entered the house, looking like a filipino maid with my hair all untidy, with the cam, laptop and bag in my hands.

and then there was the usual hoo ha about how "jal has lost weight huh!" [ben is specifically not allowed to comment on this part. you hear me? :)]

it's good, cos i never look like i put on weight in their eyes. how optimistic.

well. then. today is the first day after hari raya that i am not fasting. and i am on a roll.
i had 4 curry puffs last night.

it is not my fault. the guy gave me one free cos there were many left and they were gonna close shop.

and today? man i dont even wana go there!
haha okie. duty calls, i should be heading to the Mac lab. why Mac ah?inspired by MacDonalds huh?? :P

*you make the world seem right.*

light of my life.

ohh man.
he makes me sooo happy!
:D

i saw him yesterday, MY rayn eshan!
he is such an angel!!!

well thatz that.
u noe what?

NTU is dumb.

they sent me a mail by post, paying 50 cents for postage.
to demand for.
$0.90 cents outstanding bill.
IDIOTS.

i am in 101 now.
haiz. wa lau.
i am very confused nowadays.
and yet, i cannot blog about it.
so. ya.
i will catch up later.

argh.

here i am wasting away my time.
waiting for elusive yen lin to show some sign of existence so we can film our damn thing.
every other group is editing alr, and we are gonna film.
speak of the devil.
oops type of the devil.
later.

correction.

i did not get 12.
that was ben's idea of a joke.
i got 14 for my journ article(hindenburg was not too bad after all)
and 11 for broadcast article.
haha. i am probably way too long winded for broadcast.
loads of evidence in here.

today was zonked out.
due to my late night phone escapade.
with him.
=)))
how confusing.
i bet no one noes who i am toking about
hehehe.

satisfaction.

gotta study jal.

dammn.

slackawayyourlife.

haha.
it has been so bloody damn long since i slacked at home like that!

oh.
apple cheeks and bright eyes. that is wat the doc said about rayn.

hehehe. ooh. obsession.

it is so fun.

to slack.
like REALLY.

SLACK.

nice hari raya. slacking.
guys, tomorrow, orange and black?'

aiight. i will come back when i come back, even if i am whoring. hahahahha.

<3 rayn eshan <3

in peaceful slumber. so very small.hehe. and my sis looks like she is wearing baby clothes.

grandpa and rayn bonding. oh, the look of love.

boomi thodatha pillai paatham.(the sole that has yet to touch the earth) it feels as smooth as powder.

that is not me.my sis. and u know, u just dont wana let him go at times like these.

yawn.stretch.yawn.kick. "i am cold!!!"

i love u rayn eshan. u have stolen my heart!

thanks rayn. hari raya wouldnt have been the same without you. i know you are in the hospital waiting to come home. we will get you soon don't worry! we love you!
and we love your mother many many too. you are a lucky young bugger to have her as your mother.
and to have your father as your father.
you are gonna grow up just fine.
and before you get embarrassed by my kisses, i am gonna smooch you all i can.
you cannot blame me.
i just cant keep my hands off you!!! :)
<3

selamat hari raya!

selamat hari raya to whoever it is applicable to!!
:)

yay. gonna have GOOD HOME-COOKED NON-INDIA INDIAN MUSLIM food! yay!!
and. my darling has jaundice and is sun tanning in some blue light.
it is common for new-borns to have jaundice.
but just tt now he is not home in time for hari raya!

argh. was looking forward to disturbing him at home!

oii. so sad loh. nobody tag.

photo attack!

my first time with that lame pose.but it is a good colour combi, ya?

love love.

just to display my excellent photgraphy skills.

haha. a bit the belated. but better late than never. 11 october it was. JUNAINI's bday and rainbow day. as requested by the bday girl. and there u have it in order. red, orange, yellow, green, indigo, blue, violet. and of course, on the sidelines to complement the rainbow, black and white. (for a lack of colors) admittedly, we made a nice combination. gave jun the pair of shoes that yaya and i painstakingly chose with love. yes jun, yaya chose with love too. oh and btw. this is so lame. i uploaded them to a website for everyone else. and i downloaded it back for myself.kekeke.

on a roll.

damn right.
i am on a roll.
i am still deciding whether or not to go for lecture.

i should.

i know i should.
it helps me.
though i got only 12.
i must improve.
oh man, why the pressure?
those who know me would know that i was never too careful about my results.
i didn't mind not achieving.
is it pressure?

is it just because i know i can?

on another note, anyone wana be my study khaki?
i am a nocturnal person. i need to study at night.
anyoneee?

so pessimistic i am being.

i will concentrate my energies.
think about my baby. :)

haha oh ya. the way ppl are congratulating me, i feel like i gave birth.
to be honest, i am f***ing scared of the whole idea of giving birth. it sounds f***ing painful.
ouch ouch ouch.
people, take a minute to appreciate ur mothers. :)

i think i will probably go for lecture.

i could either sleep or do something constuctive right now. i could do the script for 108.
i could start my 108 research paper.
i could do up my timetable.
i wonder.

i cant think clearly.
lack of food + lack of sleep= inability to do ANYTHING.

oh ya. add a runny nose to that.

do i accept?

should i accept ur lame excuses?
should i put up with u?
with the hurt. with the love. with the constant disappearance.
with the unsatisfying explanations.

should i move on? CAN i move on?
i dont noe.
cos unknowingly, i called u everyday. a habit.
bad habits die so so hard.

don't i deserve better?

but i halt. cos. i am afraid.

afraid i wont get the same kind of love u give me again.
afraid no one will be able to appreciate me the same way u do.
no one will make me feel like the best person in the world.


but should that be enough to keep me here?
is it really worth it?
i am so confused.
u told me i might move on in a month.
a part of me wishes i would.
i dont want to be here when u come back.
i want u to feel the pain i feel now.

the pain of knowing u dun want to be here.
because of the circumstances that hold u down.
u claim.

should i accept? CAN i accept?

i dont know.

i know i shouldnt call him.
how?

depressed.

depressed i am.
not very. but it is nagging at the back of my head.
5/1o for the quiz.
12/20 for my news article.
well. there are reasons to explain.
i simply did not study hard enough when i should have.
and. as for the article, think i havent been able to write newspaper articles since i was 14.
from the hindenburg article that mr deepak gave us.
damm.

well.

i feel awful, but i dun noe how to get out from it.
i almost feel like i am caught online.

unable to get out of my virtual world.

i do want to pay more attention at lectures.
i want to sleep earlier.
there are so many things i wana do that i noe will make me feel better at the end of the day.
but i choose.

i choose to remain this way. to sow. and to reap the detriments.
lack of sleep making me more sickly.
lack of sleep making me think unclearly.
making me frustrated.

my online world wasting my time. eroding my priorities.
diminishing my morals.
confusing my security.

and yet i need to go online. to gain access to people i would otherwise not bother contacting.

what do i do?

i need a direction.
i need to studdy.
it is a need.

i need a timetable.
exams will come. soon. nov 16.

less than a month left.
gonna get my ass off and study.
and i hope i study my notes and my books.
because at mac. at that time. there is no telling whether i might end up with him.

jal, the aunty!

i am an aunnnttttyyyy!!!
my sis gave birth this morning at 10.20 this morning at thomson medical medical centre. (good lead sentence?) :P
yay!!!!
i cant believe it. the nine months freaking breezed past man!
he is sooooo beautiful!
Rayn Eshan he is. (gateway to heaven/ submissive to God)
so pure. so beautiful. so soft. so lovely.

he came into the world at a healthy 3.08 kg, 49 cm and his head is 33 cm in circumference.
fingers so small, toes so small. SOOOO small!
haha. so very very beautiful.

it was my first time carrying a baby. a newborn baby at that.

when i was 7, i carried a 3 yr old girl and dropped her.
finally got to get rid of my phobia.

he is so alert and active! fantastic eye contact!
yawns and yawns!
i got pics to upload man!!

feels so nice to have an addition to the family!
and my eldest sis is coming back from the states in 2 weeks!
family is so much more complete now.
mum is smiling from up above.

love my family. many many.

photo(s)

this was last thurday. right?haha. i dunno . i cant keep track of time. i gotta upload many more. but am alr lazy. this is jsut for starters.

aight.

geylang was packed. as usual.

money money. grew wings and flew away. dammn.

3 hours.

just 3 more hours.
i must be crazy.
i feel enlightened though.
i identify with what i am learning.
and i definitely have an ambivalent attachment style.
it has explained certain things to me.
how i just can't commit.
haha.

interesting.

less than a week of fasting left :(

*one more week and you would be losing me forever*

8 hours.

8 hours to the test.
i dun feel prepared. darrrn.

did i tel you guys tht it is actually pretty safe to walk barefoot in singapore?
i walked barefoot from 2 to 6.30 in school.
and then sweet val exchanged shoes with me (her shoes were so freaking nice to wear!)
and when she got off at jurong east, she took them back
i walked out of the damn train barefoot.
all the way to the bus stop, where i met my maid. who gave me my darling red scholl shoes.
bliss.
:)

111 project is overrrr!
alfie said that it is the most novel proposal he has seeen :))
yayness! really, thanks to all my group mates! and dawn and pei ru for coming up with the ideas. the rest of us built upon them.
i really do love my 111 group!

hehehehe. never minded going for the meetings although i had to sacrifice the break on tuesday!

haiz. so sad, only one more meeting, then overr!

ohh, and i got 4 boxes of starbucks mooncake today, thanks to amin!
hehehehehhe. so happy. should have seen me grinnin.
am bringing to school to share my joy. haha
but one mooncake 800 calories u know!

i need to press on!
my eyes are tiirrreeedddd.
aight. see u soon!

101.

i did study =))
although definitely because of the good company i had.
despite all, u make me smile. so so much.
if i could capture all the times i smiled today, i could make areally good colgate ad. haha
at times like these, i start to understand all over again. why i was i all over you. :)

well it was very enlightening actually understanding what the book said. communication is but an integral part of life.

listening is still a bit lost on me. due to the truancy.

hope is not lost yet. :))

not addiction

i am not adicted to blogging. but this is seriously newsworthy. based on any shit news value.
basically, we made a board game as our proposal for 111(bullying)
final product was so beautiful, but big.
so we decided to leave it at the general office. safe and sound it should be. not to mention, convenient.
and i am still having trouble believing this.
there was a friggin fire in the General Office.
well , THANK GOD the board game was made of plastic, and was saved.
that is on the bright side.
on the dark side, it is wet, and the water seeped in , and the board is dirty and just not-so-perfect anymore.
my 111 group, yet another obstacle we got through together!
talk about wrong time and wrong place.
as good as my dog eating up my homework.
ha ha.

PAIN!

oh my god. i am so not gonna wear those shoes again la!
maybe i have a problem with black and white shoes.
damn. who am i kidding? i just cant wear those pretty shoes cos my feet are too friggin broad. argh!
so sad!
i am soo gonna walk around barefooted.

anyway a BIG BIG thank you to my 111 groupmates! they were soooo sweet today!
i was just very tired. then i fell asleep at the benches. and i was very much in pain and they were soo nice. they really made me feel so cared for. they helped close my bag and put my handphone under my hand so it wont be stolen. hehe <3!

i am gonna miss them after we finish our project next week!

and anyway, that sleep was BLISS.
am going mac later. confirm plus chop today. not going home first. going straight.
hm. i am going to have company. i CANNOT and WONT be distracted. need to study !!
i feel so pressurised by myself to do well! :( lalala i want to eat rice... eat lamp chops- that is jared, NOT me. i am fasting and happy about it. since i feel like i am somehow losing weight. kekekekekekekke. <-- dun lie la... fat means fat loose wt oso no point... wahhahahhahaha. that was jared. and that is the kind of meanness i go through every single day.

haha but it makes me laugh. and when i stop laughing, YOU WATCH OUT!!!

jun. eh, like dat enough or not?

haha anu, i was forced at gunpoint. :P

zeinab, i do NOT blog all the time!!! it is a biggg misconception. and ben, i dont blog at midnight most of the times cos i want to sleep! hehehe.

well well. i will be back, i think. to tell you whether i studied or not. hehe :P

an attempt.

fingers interlinked, they walk.
surroundings fade. they talk.
eyes locked. smiles mirrored.

hand in hand,
in a different land.
hearts together, destinies entwined.

when is my turn?

randomness

i was at my learning centre(I CAN READ) on saturday.
and jacob despite his stubbornness and all, made me smile.
he said , "Daddy said the haze bad, hor? Daddy say because everyone smoking, right?"
haha. so cute. and smart daddy.

108 break

someone tell Jal to stop being addicted to webcamming
even if the guy is as cute as him.
argh. dammit. ate into my damn day.
i feel like i am totally totally spiraling out of control.

on a brighter note, i went to meet hema, meh and kalai last night. it was hema's bday!
argh. i have many photos to upload. sooo lazy. and i cant figure out photobucket. or maybe i dont want to.

this is so freaky. for those who know i go to this website called SingaporeIndians, it is so freaky. this person sees me on the bus i take everyday!!!
it's like, i have no idea who he is.

and, you know what?vanity comes with a price! those seemingly harmless pair of pretty shoes that i bought KILLED me. i just wore them yesterday to get used to them when i went to meet those 3 ladies last night. and i ended up removing them and walking on the damn pavement barefooted. how ah. but they are so pretty.

people, stop skipping lectures. once you start, you just don't stop.
i promise to keep you entertained if you sit beside me. hahahahahahahahahaha.

oh well. 102 report handed in. one less worry.
jst need to get 111 presentation over and done with!!!
and then it is 108. but i am weirdly looking forward to it!
playing badminton today. planning to be superwoman again.
i really need to stdy.
and i am not bringing my laptop to mac. and i shall not message anybody!
well yep. thatz the plan.

there are so many random things i feel like blogging about in the middle of the day. random interesting things. but then i forget.

so sad.

i need to organise my life.

*can i really get over you?*

jared, u make me laugh. :P

triple 1=time to blog

hehe. i am backkk!
haha. to those who thought i was addicted, i am not! i din blog over the weekend!
haha. actually i was just really pissed off with the tagboard that screwed up la.

hm.

friday, went captain ball again. sooooo fun. and hm, was fun after that too!

and haha. wat a pity, the one who provided the cam hasnt uploaded the picssss.
will do it at home later!

and make my blog less boring. haha. but can JAL be BORING? IMPOSSIBLE man!
hehehehehe.
oh no. spy attack. dun think i should blog now.

kekke. stupid ben.skinned pathetic chicken.

well after captain ball was hm....oh well.

weekend zoooomed past! worked both days, but it was my last weekend there..yippppeee.
i like working there, but honestly, it is way toooo tiring.
worked with kav yesterday. haha it was fun!

i thought i was superwoman. on saturday, went to work , went to play badminton, then went to mac at 12 plus am to do my 102 report.

i could have finished in an hour and gone HOME. but being me, i was there for 3 bloody damn hours. hehehe. and slept at 4 freaking 30 am.
then went right back to work the next day.
had only two hours of sleep. wanted to study at mac, but haha. body gave out. i ended up in bed with a sneeze attack. was attended to by my darrrllling father :))
the bliss of being his daughterr :)

well well. aiite. bye. i am sure i will be back. hehehhee.

no brain juice right now.

haha.

i am not crazy.

experiment.

that's just it.

photos photos

i need to upload the photos!
haha.
sorry guys, soon.
explanation: my sis is on the desktop and oi plop myself on the bed with my laptop.
and when she gets off. oops, i realise there is superglue on my bed!ha ha. :P

what is social attractiveness?

why is noone in this 101 lecture group stating the obvious- physical appearance?come on guys, u noe that always gets u.

social exchange theory? why are there people who are in a relationship for a reward!?
gosh.
never mind.

anyway, yesterday, the first group presented in 111.
and i am starting to have many many fears. my 111 group is fabulous, but i am really afraid that we will be shot down as well.

everytime vivian starts giving us a detailed account of her life ,i come back here. i mean seriously, why do ppl laugh at her encounters?
argh.

ya fears. it's ok. shall work on it instead of fret and worry.

anyway, i met my darlings yesterday! and there can only be two.
and they are anusha and khadijah.

haha. no insecurities. i will get rid of them. they are my bestest bestest friends. been through every damn thing with me. good and bad. crazzzyyyy moments. seriously. since i was 13. i love them to bits. i really really am thankful for u guys! u guys are like familllyyyyy! :D

but i do value my other frens too. i will name u guys in time to come.

for lack of anything better to do, we went to watch a movie. since khad and i were fasting,we could do nothing much else :)

you me and dupree. yet another addition to our list of stupid movies. hehehehe. but i still enjoy watching stuff with them. hahahahaha. :) anything, it will still be fun!

haha. and. anu complained that jun's name is in many of my entries. hehehehhee.

after the movie and happy happy time with them(photos will be up soon) i went to visit ummu with my sister and my dad.
i was shocked to see that ummu looked so fine!hehe. i was under the weird impression that giving birth leaves u bedridden for at least aweek. hehehe.

shit. why does she have to talk about love and liking.
love: a positive emotional state toward another person that consists of: intimacy passion commitment.
intimacy plus passion= us. where is the commitment. tell me, where is it?
is it just me?

well yes. but the baby is beautiful. so pure. so very pure :)

then we went for dinner. it sucked though. really.

and u dun need a reason to like someone. really. really. i really think so.

and i must give credit to someone who actually helps me with the advice he gives: dave. ya actually known him for a short time. but i understand what he says. it makes sense. hey dude, r u just smart or are u experienced? :))

well. i will hold on. and i will survive. as always.

good morning

it is early in the morning, and i am going back to sleep soon.
thanks anu, for messgaing me!it really makes a difference to me that u are always there for me!
i wasnt in the mood to talk yesterday though, and neither am i today.
i dont noe why.
sleep has made me feel better. but the feeling lingers. a lot of disappointment. and the need to move on.

i cannot believe my feelings collapsed so fast from last thursday. this really feels like the end. but i gotta stand strong. it is not the first time this is happening. too many chances. i am way too patient. was it patience or habit or security. i dont noe. i think it was the security that made me want to hang on to you forever.

but if this is how it feels when u are not around, the security when u ARE around is not worth it. this is killing me badly.

u r a selfish bastard. u really are.

i shouldnt look for it, it will find me.

thank you jun, last night for the conversation. it helped. it gave me direction.

and thanks for a night well spent(ooh scandalous) and a movie well-watched!

at least now we are now on a consensus that leonardo di caprio is hot!haha.

well. sleep is calling me. ciao


~~~You see me laughing. If only you could see my heart.~~~

emotions.

in a whirl.

a very big one.

if only i could; talk.

pain and misery. go away. really. really.

had enough. really had enough. of u. of u. why.

dinner is not love

habit is not love

love is giving. love is not selfish. love is certain. love is above all.

capable?incapable?real? i dont noe.

i need a fresh start. will i move on? heard ppl say i am a nice person. sis even said i am a wonderful person. but where did i place my morals. how did i do that.

i dont regret it.

but why. demeaned myself. i knew he wasnt the one. it couldnt have been.

yet i went ahead.

the need. the need.

yes the need. for love. for attention. for someone to care for. someone mine.

and yet i fooled myself. real bad. that could not have been love. love is mother. love is not him.

to those i make sense to, i think i will recover.

for those who dont understand, you are yet another on my list.

yay!

jun likes the shoes!and now that the cat is out of the bag, i can reveal some stuff!
heehee, yaya and i went to get jun's shoes at JP yesterday afternoon. and oh my god. BHAM. the shopping virus hit me. real bad. i took about an hour to recover.

haha. hm. i bought 3 tops from this fashion. haha i thought they looked good, but that may be cos my judgement was impaired by the virus.

and a pair of shoes. my first pair with heels!!! haha. only kitten heels. but u gotta be a kitten before u bceome a cat right!

hahaha. do not say i am lame. i walk well. i run, too. hahahahahahaha.

mm. we just gave her the shoes and a pillow on which we wrote all our messages! hehe she is high, and i am happy for that!

UMMU gave birth! whether or not u noe her, please pray for her! cos..ya. she and her baby need as many prayers as possible!

i am going to watch the departed with jun after this.. she is already fantasising about leo di caprio, i think.

i liked him. only in titanic.

i am having a slight headache. do i have things to do tonight? i feel light, but got a 111 presentation and the 102 essay to hand in. and i am working. damn. should i ask them to give me sunday off?really dont think i can manage leh..

dammn.

haiz how. work is soooo tiring!

i am a bit troubled. ask me why. i might tell.

jared thinks i am a blog whore, too.

but i do not blog 6 times a day!
its just that i talk a lot.
jared thinks his news broadcast during 107 was good..
hm.. hehehehehe.
107 actually quite fun laaa.
i kinda dreaded going, actually i dread going, but once i go it's ok!

last night, i was so bloody tired!

i came home after dinner with them at fish and co. and i had to go home and change before going to my sisters house cos i noe she will kill me for wearin that skirt. and if i bend, thats it.

haha. and i went there to change hamster bedding. hehe. such a sweet sister. my sister is so so pregnant. and so hopefully she forgets about the 20 dollars. but oops, my bro in law is not preganant!hehe.

well. dinner was fun as usual. and we went daytonaing after that!
sooo fun. i came in first once and last once. we only played twice though.

anyways. there are so many things i wanted to say. but i dun remember.

yay!i am meeting my darling angels tmr!(khad and anu)

and junaini johari, happy birthday to u!

blog whore

looks like i am becoming one. keke. am in 107 lect now. :)
i need to explain. so abrupt i was in the last entry. u noe what?my dreamweaver crashed! damn it la. i was so damn proud of my sudden webpage literacy. heheheh.

hm. and i havent finished about 102.

poor vandana. she is fasting till the moon comes out!poor thing. at least i can eat when the sun sets. hehe. but she only does this once a year. we do it for one whole month!

102. so anyway, i hadnt written my script. and then jared finished with his introduction. and then i was like "oh oh". felt a bit encouraged cos CJ was nodding at what jared was saying. so at least it confirmed what he was saying. it was recognition and acknowledgement.(thanks vivian) and for those who dun noe what i am saying and happen to be doing Communication Studies, think you should start studying.

cos jared just told me we have a 101 test next friday. and i am freaking out!

well then. ya so my part came. and i think i was nervous for my first slide, cos i entirely forgot to explain one point. then i had two options, to skip that point or to ask jared to rewind. hhe. of cos i did what was right.

so i explained. and i had no "notes" so i was forced to thinkk. i am giving myself a pat on the back because i think i did A OKAY. :))

as in, i noe i wasnt speaking too calmly, but maybe that contributed to our groups "friendly style of presentation"

hehe. after that, we had our own forum. i was soooo glad that everyone looked like they had nothing to ask. AT FIRST. but of course, some people were forced to ask.

and then the questions started rolling out. but i think we answered okay-ly. haha. until wendy asked of cos, about the differences between ST and ZB when touching on racal issues. he asked how come we didn't focus on a certain aspect. like racial issues. honestly, that din even come up in our discussions.

haha, but we just said blah blah la. haha. in the end the forum was diverted to the tamil community cos i was the only tamil there, and the only tamil in SCI. and i started crapping about what's inside. and sorry 102 mates, i noe i sounded like i knew what i was saying, but i have only skimmed through that paper ONCE in my life. good job, jal.

hehehhe. it was fun. to me. and it made me happy. for the very reason that i am glad i can still make people laugh. :)) thanks guys, for laughing. :)

in that instant u are laughing, you remember no worries and u carry no burdens. and it makes me happy when i create that instant for u.

GUEST APPEARANCE: JUN
jun <3 jal because jal will print out jun's 107 assignment for her.
so jun would like to use this opportunity to thank jal for being her printer, because this is not the first (and will most definitely not be the last) time jal has done her printing for her.

HAHA. so much for guest appearance la. ok ok , i forgive u cos ur birthday tmr. :P

aight. ciao.

one more thing,

congrats to myself, jared, wai yin and charmain!

cheers! to a project done better than expected!

dun think we expected it to be shot down so little. i certainly dint expect it to be so easy.
oh just a side note. i am in 108. and both the ppl beside me are EATING.

hehe.its ok jal. it is OKAY. :p

i thought it went well! wheeeeeee! hahahaha. i was pretty nervous at first. and that is cos. while i happily finished my 107 last night, i was way too tired after that. so i didn't write my script for 107. like at all. at the rehearsal we had on sunday, i din even realise that i had so many things to sayyy. haha.

and then i still didnt write my script. jared, i very zai ah?hehehehe.

well ya. i was intending on going early to school. but to start with, i reached there on time to meet jared.

but jared was gonna be late. and he was not having a good start to the day. he will probably blog about it. or will he? anyway, he left his laptop charger in the tutorial room after his other presentation yesterday. (it was there! :)) and blah blah. he wasnt feeling good. so i thought i wouldnt wana leave him alone to come to school.

yes yes i noe he is a guy and can handle himself and all, but i was thinking, if i was the one who was him and stuff, i will be sad to have to go to school alone :( haha. so i waited and we went. and i wrote my script on ONE postcard.

and before i could complete, CJ walked in. and then i was like, shit. forget it la.

and hehe. what happened was that wai yin forgot to print our write up.(smack u la!)
so charmain randomly asked for printing paper, and nabila had!thank u nabila!
so. she went and she was taking a long time, and it was after 9.30. and jared went to look for her.

and charmain went out. and i didnt want it to look like my whole group had "escaped"
so i stayed. hehehehe.

and so CJ decided to take the chance to get the girl who doesnt look like she can get stressed to talk. he asked me to give an introduction. and so i did. and waited and waited. so then after that wai yin and jared appeared with the papers. which had our photos on them. and they were cute.

hehe. later.

survival!

tribute to aretha franklin for singing "i will survive" and charles darwin's theory of "survival of the fittest"!

i survived through the damn whole day. AWAKE.

i am proud of myself. please celebrate with me. champagne anyone? halal one ah. not like some ppl, bring non-halal mooncake to school.

why such a stigma? i like national day songs! national day parade has lost its awe on me, but i still love the songs, especially home!
such fond memories of rmps! mis all my pri sch classmates!!

au revoir!

heartbreak

:( ben just broke my heart by telling me he doesnt have the 20 dollar note!

i am so tempted to post a bulletin on friendster and ask if anyone has, but my sis has friendster!and she will noe!! i havent told her yet!

haiz. so depressing. i had one and a half hours of sleep last night, or rather, this morning. and my darling father actually asked whether to wake me up at 6.30 am. and guess what ? i said "no no, 6 am!" and who was right?my dad. and who is going to school?me! gosh. the irony. so i sprinted for the bus for no apparent reason. and reached the station early so everyone could stare at me in the morning. i was NOT wearing my shades to attract attention!it is because i have panda eyes today!haha. that does not mean i sat in my lectures in my shades though. haha. that would be interesting.

jun says hi.

cherian is actually bringing me back one year. to econs, my darling subject.

its really a beautiful subject! PASSION people, PASSION. i really loved/love the subject. look at the papers. look around u. u can see it everywhere. from micro to macro. ECONS IS LIFE! hehe. i suddenly wish my econs tutor is reading my blog~!

oh ya, that reminds me, i promised to lunch with her last dec. oops. busy woman, me. hehe.

oh, following suit, val says hi too. :))

haha. i wonder who they are saying hi to? me? if yes, why am i typing out?hehehe.

ECONS should not be compressed as a subset of 102!!i wana do it again. only at JC level. hehehehe.

fine jun! times= x. as in x for xylophone. hehehe.

haha jun asked why i wrote my 102 results instead of 101. maybe cos i din feel like it was right to take credit for what i did well, and not acknowledge what i did badly. hehe, this is jal, flaws and all ;)

and i got 90 for 101. :) haha. back to primary school days? i remember how nothing below 90 would be accepted in primary school. does that mean i missed my A* narrowly! sorry teacher! hehehe. wat the hell. but i miss primary school. honestly my stepping stone. i LOVE radin mas primary. i loved my time there. everything. learnt alot. seriously.

ms goh, mrs jayakumar, mrs anba, ms gayathri, mrs vellaisamy, ms thio, mrs som, ms seah. thanks so much!

hehe. did i ever mention that i got best in tamil for 6 years straight in my primary school? and oh, higher tamil for those 2 years too. haha. i wonder how. :))

i feel like visiting school today!i dun noe if my energy level will allow that though!i dun wana go with panda eyes, its been like 3 yrs!and this is how they are gonna see me?!

nono. haha. this is called entertainment during lecture. one of the reasons i din wana start blogging. i can go and on and on. and anu would noe that, i think. kekeke.

my eyes are tearing like crazzzyyyy. so bloody sleeppppyyy... shawn, i noe u r gonna kill me later. should i put myself at ur mercy?haha. so drama. ok la, think thatz it. bye. see ya later!

itchy eyes.

i should print my 102 reading. i havent done last week's, but that should not prevent me from printing this week's. there is a chance that i would read it, right?

wow, 10 points for optimism, jal.

why is it that i think i am in love, and yet i dun noe if i am.
and i still want to get to know other people, but i dun noe why i am doing that.
why am i tying myself down when i am so young.
why am i so unsure.
why am i so unfocused.
why am i so clingy.
why am i so emotional.

why ah?

i noe it is just me, and i am perfectly fine being myself.

but. why?

and. why do i need someone else to reassure me. is my esteem that low?do i need to do all that to make sure he doesnt stop loving me? do i really really?

is love easy to find?why do i see so many couples on the streets?how do they find each other?what do u need in order to be found?

so many questions. yet no answers.

well well, to ramble on about my day, my sister came over to my house yesterday!it wassooo fun, always like a family reunion sorta thing. and of cos, my dad entertained us usual, doing his sensual pole dance to dum machale at the shelf. hehe. i will try to take a photo or video it during one of his many encore performances.

today, i went over to her house with "Articulate" we should try playing that game one day!it is dammm fun. hehe. the laughs, endless. with those guys, seriously. endless.

and it was sooo cute, having two pregnant ladies(Aka preggies) playing together. but the classic one was when we went to palawan beach about a month back. and they played captain ball with us. they were attracting so many stares man!

i cant believe amin is gonna be a father!but he will be such a funny father! but, are they gonna spend less time with me after he is born? :((

i am like the "baby" now, and i noe it wont be for much longer. haiz. and that reminds me of the 20 dollars. ben, please be an angel!!

oh, and i am pretty happy with 101. much better than my 102. i actually FAILED my 102. but oh well, failure is the mother of success. as i said, optimism is a rather powerful tool.

hm. dilemma. should i publish my 101 and risk sounding like a brag, cos honestly, i feel like bragging, since it is the first time i have the opportunity(if u dun take into account my excellent badminton or dancing skills, humour, helpfulness, kind-heartedness) hehehehehehehhe. ok la. i will tell 102 first. i got 4/10. but that still hasnt got me readin the papers. what the hell am i doing man!! hehe. so laid back. should be in australia, sia.

i am glad that the haze subsided. though it is only cos the winds are on our side. ie not blowing our side. keke. irony.

oh, and i give it to jared. i think he is dammmmm funny. hehe. always makees me laugh sia. project meeting always damn funny!! thanks for all the laughs so far cups! keep the jokes coming! :))

i cant wait for the project to end! and thanks charmain, wai yin. u guys are great. and wai yin, hehe din thiink i would hit it off so well with u. kekeke. thanks for the choc, wai yins boyfren!hehehe. and charmain keke. din mean to cause brain haemorrhage. if that is how it is spelt. :))

oh and charmain. the joke was lame , but it still makes me laugh. when i said i was fasting, she said she was slowing. heheheheh.

oh someone, please keep reminding me to do my 107. i keep forgetting!!should have done over the weekend la! maybe tmr afternnooon when i get back. jal!discipine.

and anu, no worries. i noe it was an accident ok. and i actually thought, at the end of the day, the msg is not that impt. cos i unfortunately feel like i am still with him.

but if anything were ever to happen, it would have been a nice memory. i kinda remember what he said though.

ok la, think most ppl would have switched off alr. tata. see u guys around!

oops.

oh oh oh ohohohohohohohohoho. i am not saying hoho like santa claus ok.its oh oh.
long long ago, in the western part of singapore. there was a brother in law called amin. he gave his sister-in-law called jal a very old 20 dollar note. it was to act as an incentive for him to save as he could only redeem it from jal after he had saved a certain amount.

and the time has come.

he wants to redeem it.

and jal cannot find it. please pray for her.

cos she is really really scared. cos the last time jal made amin angry when she was 13, he din tok to her for a year. and jal loves her brother in law, and does not want that to happen. if someone wans to sell an old 20 dollar note in the black market to jal, please go ahead and do it. she will pay any amount.

that aside, jal is super duper duper sleepy. she needs an energy booster. she went to work and worked for 8 hours that crawled by. it was just nt the same as last time, maybe cos i prefer school to work. and the hours really crawled by. and the fact tht i was fasting rreally din help.

i ate like a starving somalia kid today, when i broke fast. serious. oh well.

tmr i got 102 meeting. yipppeeee i liiikkkeee :) hope project goes well on tuesday. after all chong jin likess me, right?hehehehehe. :P

my eyes are closing yet again..i need to do my 107!and ya...basically the stress is seeping into my system slowly but surely.

yesterday i suddenly got a panic attack about my 111, and msged my group mates telling them how i felt. haha, they must have been shocked. if any of my group mates feel tt i havent done enough and is reading this, i promise i will buck up!

well. msn mates are neglected. i actually wanted to watch a tamil movie but i am really sleepy right now. and i feel bad about suraj. really like toking to him, but everytime he calls me, i am super sleepy.

well. a bientot, mes amis!

sleep jal!

haha. yet another sleep late tonight, regret tmr kinda day i guess. itz 2.50 am and here i am BLOGGING. i havent done it for a day though. hm. and wednesday, i was very brief. but let yester days be yester days ya?

yesterday. i went to school for 111 tut. and i realise. that, i cant leave class without saying a thing cos i feel like i wasted my journey to school. and i talk a lot, i feel obliged to contribute something(valuable or not) i was actually quite clueless about what they were presenting cos i din read the articles. purely for vanitys sake. i was supposed to read it shirley lims and linda lim articles on the train, but i just din wana take off my shades in the train. cos it was totally uncool to remove my shades and start reading notes. hehee. oh well so i basically couldnt point out any loopholes in the presentation or find anything intelligent to say. i was in a such a lazy mood that i din even write down anything. and itz the first tut that i din jot down notes! well in the end, i did say something. while brenda seemed to think it made sense, i was a bit..disappointed with my contribution cos it just seemed insignificant.

well anyway, then i proceeded to meet jared wai yin and charmain for 102 meeting. i like all my groups. i am lucky. my 111 group is very nice: kai yan, pei ru, dawn and jie ying. they are all nice and cooperative ppl who really get work done. we have fun during meetingssss!ater doing wat is necessary of cos. but there is still a lof of laughter. 108 is cool too!me, jun, and wai and yen lin. all niceeeeee ppl too!

102 was super fun too!haha. shared calories with jared by buying a chocolate sundae. charmain bought us fries and chicken wings. and poof went my diet. i have been having way to much fast food. and itz not fast food, itz fast fats reallyy..

well. the case of the running ring took place today in the train, with juns ring i nthe train, but i am so bloody sleepy, and i have work tmr! later!night.

blah blah.

man, she is killing us with her toking. tack-a-nology woman she is. hehe. i shouldnt be blogging durin glect i noe. but i am oh so bored. and sleeeeppppyyy. and i feel so out of control. i need to take charge of my life. et ben. je ne peux pas penser comment ecrire en francais. hehe. je me manque mes francais lecons!keke. seule tu peux comprendre mes phrases. hehe. alors, c'est un conversation personal. and tat is french kie.

haha ok toking in french is entertaining. but it is draining my brain juice. and there was alot u noe. june is stoned. and i am bored.

actually communication skills are important. but she is boring me and i dun wana listen. i am actually damn scared about my 101 results!for the very fact tt i studied. hm. i think my conflict resolution is good. at least with him. haha. not all of u will noe who i am toking about. ok nvm. i am rambling.

oh this is random. i think my dad is very funny. hehe he is so sarcastically cutely funny. i was gonna play badminton and i took off my watch. and then he asked me the time. when i instinctively looked at my wrist, he said completely factually "i din noe u had electronic power in ur hands!" haha. then he smiled. it sounded funny. although it may not be funny to read.

my laptop battery is going off!!!i hate it. yesterday, laptop batt was flat, hp batt was flat, and ipod batt was flat-at the same time. its called luck. just bad luck. ciao.

hm.mood swing?

my mood had dwindled terribly. and it has only been half an hour. i feel bad, awful. sad. insecure. hm. i should stop expecting myself to be everyonez good friend. right?well. it kinda hurts. hm. itz a small issue, really. probably. four frens. hm. well well. i would have wanted to be the 5th good fren that u found in ntu. but i think i made some stupid mistakes along the way. and though i havent actually toked about it, val would noe tt i wana turn back time. n if yaya is gonna turn, itz gonna be the second time shez gonna see me crying. oops. this is bad. val is here, and val, if u r reading this. haha. hm.

well. anyway, moving on. and i have to move on. some mistakes are forgivable no? i wana tell u in person about this so i am not mentioning ur name here.

but thanks for the good laugh over the peanuts in the cup. :))

get a life, jal

haha. i should. i should be doing something more worthwhile honestly, i am sitting in acrc and come on , itz a lib! i should be inspired, but guess my lappy inspired me more than anything else! and here i am, blogging again. i promise i am not addicted. itz just a convenient way to escape from stuff that need to be done. and i am indulging in escapism. i shouldnt be. i should be inspired by yaya who is reading her 102 reading. (albeit sleepily) but hehe. i am instead blogging and on msn.chattin with ben who is about 1 metre away from me. haha. the irony. these are the reasons it will be dangerous for me to disclose my blog add to my sisters. hehe, i would dread the interrogation that follows.

well well. so whatz up?hm. well, i should sleep earlier really!anyway i am wearing my new korean top today. ok wait, yaya is sleeping alr. anyway, ya..i am wearing it!yipppeeeee. hehe. i will prob try to take a pic with jareds hp and try to upload it..i liiikkkeee! hm.hehehe.

well anyway, 108 was tortuous for me today man. oh and pseudo fasting is making me hungry. i feel weak. and i dun feel gooood!hm. i am prob watching a movie later :)) singapore dreaming, been wanting to watch it!and today is the day cos itz cheaper man!

i have things to do. gotta analyse the books and pick out info and must do up 102 to send to jared and of cos my 102 reading. i have 2 and a half hours left. and something tells me i am gonna do none of that. i will tell u if i am proven wrong.

well,hm. i got my 102 quiz thing back. and honestly, i am have never been so secretive about results, but i dun think they are publishable. itz called journalistic ethics. hehehe. come on, being a communications student, i must use my discretion to noe what to publish, although this is alternative media. ya? hehehehe.

hmmm. i cant remember something else i wanted to say. i will be back later with more to say probably. it never stops. hehe.

ciao.

back.

am back am back! haiz, i told my sis about blog. but she said she alr knew i had one and she was waiting for me to tell her about it. wa lau, feel damn bad cos i am so close to her!and she preggie leh. argh.

anyway.. coming back to today and the many many things that i have to say. hm.

i am taking a long time to write this cos i am helping sis to edit her assignment at the same time. oh man. this is weird.. i had such a heavy dinner and i am hungry again?heh. i must be pregnant man. keke.

oh man i am finally back. sorry some distractions along the way. the difficulties of being popular. hahaha. ok i am deluded. well coming back to it, i always have good conversations with my dad on badminton days. like really. he talks to me a lot more now.

and it was oh so sad toking to him today. fasting month naturally makes all of us remember mother more. and itz the worst for my dad. having a life partner and i mean, LIFE partner disappear in the middle of ur life is not exactly easy to swallow. and my mom is an angel. truth be told, i noe each of us considers our mums angels. its hard to explain. when u think ur mum is the best angel in the world, and u noe everyone else is thinking the same thing.

well well. that being that, i was so so sad hearing my dad. we went to have dinner at the same telok blangah coffeeshop. i had mutton chop today. but that is besides the point. he was telling me about how he has seen both his mum and his wife pass away. that was just the beginning. by the end, he was tearing. and it was so sad, i wanted to cry too. but i said "let's go" before i started sobbing or something.

he detailed to me how his mum passed away. so painful. she wanted to say something to him, but was out of breath. i mean, honestly, i see these in the movies, but having it happen to u(with ur mum) is traumatizing.

and. my grandmother, whom i have never seen, apparently loved my mum alot. i can understand why. my dad gave me an example.. my grandmother had a stroke. and she used to live with my dad and mum. and she couldnt get up herself. so someone had to bring her to the toilet and wash up for her. oh, for those who dun get it, muslims(and indians too) dun use toilet paper.they use water and soap and their hands. and my grandmother used to wait for my mum to return from work to go to the toilet. no matter who came to visit her. even her daughters. i probably cant convey the same emotions that my dad conveyed to me just now. but it's just that it takes a lot of trust and love on both sides to do that. and cleaning up after someone in the toilet is not something u would do if u dun love the person. a lot.

she just amazes me, my mum. but anyway, as i was saying. i feel so sad for my dad. he lost 2 precious jewels. and he told me that he feels so bored during the weekends especially. and now i feel bad that i havent been at home. man. can u imagine? u spend 30 over years waking up with that same someone beside u, and then one day, poof, u dun see that person anymore. no one to joke the same way with, hug, disturb. u cant find the same things u find in ur wife in ur daughters, no matter how many daughters.

i wish i could find something to do for my dad on weekends. any ideas anyone?

i m going off now. tata. :)

haze haze, go away.

man. stop burning the forests! cant take it!am sneezing cos of the haze!every morning. help the poor fasting ppl! and everyone who is reading this, please pray that my preggie sis who has asthma isnt affected!thanks :))

went to play badminton, and i think something happened, cos i played as well as saturday, hehe. surprising.

i usually play well only when the group of indian guys are playing in the court beside.hehe. not my fault. kekekeke. u noe what i mean right? :P

hm. today.. was a pretty good day at school. back to school yes. saw the faces i havent seen in a week. a few changes in group dynamics i would say. and i noe why. hm. things happen for reasons. we will see how things go ya? i wore a punjabi suit today. how traditional. i love the punjabi suit! haha, but i ended up feeling like a girl from india. keke then i was thinking "u havent seen jal on a funky day!" hahaha. no la. but it got me thinking. i guess i was afraid to seem traditional, and that is bad. hm. i am proud of my culture. i guess as much as i love attention, i dun have enough courage to stand out in a crowd in school like that. like when i was on the streets, i was hoping no one was thinking i wear traditional everyday also. haiz. the next time i wear, i will make sure i have no qualms about it!

ok i have a LOT to say. and i was intending to blog when i came online at 10.08 pm. but my popularity caused me to be delayed by MSN. hehehe. :P AND my sis wants to use the comp now. so i will be back with the rest i wana sayy.

stay tuned.

going to jail for lying?

haha. am in 102 lect and i really shouldnt be blogging now. but itz just that i am so happy that i got connection!!!yay! and hehe, jared is trying to be a good fren and asking me to pay attn, but of cos i can just look at his highly organised notes later.hehehe.

i just did.

anyway, hehe. din blog yesterday!haiz was too tired!went to work on saturday and sunday!sunday 10 hours man, some more had to vacuum the floor like maid man. i ate a lot la. dammit, one day of fasting and i was eating and eating
this is what i had
1. some blueberry thing from breadtalk
2. the cheese stick from breadtalk
3.tuna mushroom feuillete(pronounced fir-yet for those who freaking cant pronounce it hehe)
4.half of a green tea mooncake
5.steam cake from pasar malam(i call it makokeh hehe. its some kueh la actually
6.1 stick of fishballs

aaaahhh...it happens when i go to work.. i din have any normal meal, cos there is no time to do it when i go to work! haha. oh well. i cant wait to start fasting. i am going to pretend i am fasting!haha. but i think i should drink water man. hey, come on, i am losing blood. hehehehe.

well, i was dead tired when i got home last night. but. i was lying down on my bed, waiting for a call so that i can sleep(anu think, i got the same problem as u!hehe) i was suddenly hit by some kinda panic. so i went online and finished the damn thing up. man i feel so slacky. one week and i din do anything! haiz. itz scary, uni is not like jc or sec sch. u cant slack and catch up. cos itz cumulative.damn! okie never mind. i refuse to make myself stressed, since i look like a girl who can never get stressed, according to chong jin.

oh the reason i was tired was cos i slept at 4.30 am on sunday morning and got up 3 hours later to go to work. think i would have died if i was fasting. to make things worse, i was sneezing my nose off and. i did something really stupid yesterday that i refuse to tell anyone.

am playing badminton later!haha. hopefully, i am as excited as the other day!think i should drink coffee, it helps! oh remind me to tell u about the china woman another time .aiight, guess i should continue later. ciao.

no fasting.

arghhh. cant fast for the next week. and for those who dun noe why, please ask me personally. hehe. not good to publicize such stuff. sch is gonna start soon!and guess what?i still havent completed my 101. i cant believe myself!i should do it now!how ah??

okie never mind. i will deal with my procrastination myself!haha. i have never been this bad u noe. and seriously, this whole accumulation thing scares me!i wana get a good degree!not a mediocre one!haiz. and i noe i gotta do well in all my assignments. thatz why i am procrastinating i think, i am scared.

i hope i did well for my 107 article and 101 test. cos if i did, then it would at least show that effort pays off! :) hm ya. for my 101 this stupid coding sheet, so boring and i dun see the point la!


okie anyway, i played badminton today!was on a weird high!!!hehehehe. and was soooo happy playing. and seeing my dad sooo happy made me even happier. hahahaha. ohhh well. was good!hehe my colleague said i lost weight too!but i think thatz cos my punjabi suit was hiding my fats!! and i am not gonna eat for the next week though i cant fast hehe.

do i sound obsessed to lose weight? no la. actually i am not. i still love to eat. and thankfully, i like to exercise too. which means whether or not i am slim, i am fit. and i believe that. play badminton with me kie? :P cups(Aka jared) u must play badminton with meeeee! heheheh.

and anu we should play soon too! and oh ya, i was very lazy to update today, but seeing ur tag made me blog anu. so fans, keep ur requests coming!hehehehehe. i am high, i tell u!

oh and i kinda miss sch and the people! :P gonna see u guys soon!

i am working tmr too(or today) 10 friggin hours la. argh. was planning to wear my white skirt. till. hm.

argh, still cracking my head on what to wear man. i noe i shouldnt stay up too late, cos work starts early!! but how ah. bored, dun wana sleep and i want to do 101. but i cant seem to click on the damn thing. any solutions?

haha i am rambling mannnn. kekeke.

oh, would u call someone at 4.15?do u think itz crazy?hehehehe i apparently din think so. and i called that someone. and that someone was super dam pissed. and that persons super damn pissed words super dam pissed me off too. so i din call. and that person calls and says it was ridiculous. and that person realises tt i am not happy about what that person said. but that person continues to call. and the whole episode becomes amusing when the person calls me at 4.15 just to see my reaction!that is partly immature and partly, weirdly, funnnyy. keke. and hey, come on, this person is 26! :P

oh and toking about imaturity and childishness, HAPPY CHILDRENS DAY my dear frens!dun u guys miss the holidays and the teachers performing silly things for us?

wow, for a lazy typer, i have typed a lot mann! :P kekekek. thanks for reading(if u managed to read it through and through) hahahahahhaa.