back.

am back am back! haiz, i told my sis about blog. but she said she alr knew i had one and she was waiting for me to tell her about it. wa lau, feel damn bad cos i am so close to her!and she preggie leh. argh.

anyway.. coming back to today and the many many things that i have to say. hm.

i am taking a long time to write this cos i am helping sis to edit her assignment at the same time. oh man. this is weird.. i had such a heavy dinner and i am hungry again?heh. i must be pregnant man. keke.

oh man i am finally back. sorry some distractions along the way. the difficulties of being popular. hahaha. ok i am deluded. well coming back to it, i always have good conversations with my dad on badminton days. like really. he talks to me a lot more now.

and it was oh so sad toking to him today. fasting month naturally makes all of us remember mother more. and itz the worst for my dad. having a life partner and i mean, LIFE partner disappear in the middle of ur life is not exactly easy to swallow. and my mom is an angel. truth be told, i noe each of us considers our mums angels. its hard to explain. when u think ur mum is the best angel in the world, and u noe everyone else is thinking the same thing.

well well. that being that, i was so so sad hearing my dad. we went to have dinner at the same telok blangah coffeeshop. i had mutton chop today. but that is besides the point. he was telling me about how he has seen both his mum and his wife pass away. that was just the beginning. by the end, he was tearing. and it was so sad, i wanted to cry too. but i said "let's go" before i started sobbing or something.

he detailed to me how his mum passed away. so painful. she wanted to say something to him, but was out of breath. i mean, honestly, i see these in the movies, but having it happen to u(with ur mum) is traumatizing.

and. my grandmother, whom i have never seen, apparently loved my mum alot. i can understand why. my dad gave me an example.. my grandmother had a stroke. and she used to live with my dad and mum. and she couldnt get up herself. so someone had to bring her to the toilet and wash up for her. oh, for those who dun get it, muslims(and indians too) dun use toilet paper.they use water and soap and their hands. and my grandmother used to wait for my mum to return from work to go to the toilet. no matter who came to visit her. even her daughters. i probably cant convey the same emotions that my dad conveyed to me just now. but it's just that it takes a lot of trust and love on both sides to do that. and cleaning up after someone in the toilet is not something u would do if u dun love the person. a lot.

she just amazes me, my mum. but anyway, as i was saying. i feel so sad for my dad. he lost 2 precious jewels. and he told me that he feels so bored during the weekends especially. and now i feel bad that i havent been at home. man. can u imagine? u spend 30 over years waking up with that same someone beside u, and then one day, poof, u dun see that person anymore. no one to joke the same way with, hug, disturb. u cant find the same things u find in ur wife in ur daughters, no matter how many daughters.

i wish i could find something to do for my dad on weekends. any ideas anyone?

i m going off now. tata. :)